a redemption

Is it morally correct to snap on others, blaming it onto the workloads and expecting them to understand?

Is it ethical to say the 'get lost' words out loud whenever you're angry?

No, it is not morally correct and it is unethical. Then knowing how wrong those things are, why did I end up doing them?!

I couldn't go to sleep, my heart is filled with huge disappointment with myself. I feel so shameless... I notice that lately I get furious easily, I become much more bitter and cynical to everyone. What saddened me, I felt self-righteous in every conflict I encountered, yes.. I trapped in my own world.

Now that another closest people is walking away, the reality finally sinks in.. I started to see all my conflicts in different light. And geez.. I was heartless, my tongue is sharper than a knife, my attitude is beyond horrible.

Regardless the apologies, I am fully aware there is nothing I can do to ease the pain and grief they went through because of my awful treatments. I just hope someday, these people can completely forgive me.

I'll continue on living by carrying this guilt. I won't let myself hurting anyone else, ever again.

Thank you Ya Allah Ya Rabb, at least I still get a chance to feel remorseful and to make redemption.