the good and the bad

“It is essential to keep myself (and my mind, in particular) occupied all the time. So that I wouldn’t drown in the sea of frustration” That is another thing I learned after 8 months of living under the same roof with my stepmother. I’ve been living in a hell for more than 200 days, or should I say in a world filled with her constant nagging, her unstable emotional state, her greediness in controlling others, and her ‘over protective’ actions. Frankly speaking, she’s surely doing a very good job in jeopardizing my life.

Why do things have to be done according to her will? Why can’t I, at least, make my own decisions? Seriously, can’t she just let me on my own!? I’m not asking anything fancy or complicated from her, because all I want is my freedom. A simple –yet vital- liberty such as:
* spending time with my mother
* wearing my favorite clothes
* taking any courses which would enhance my skills (e.g. graphic design)
* going out with anyone I’m comfortable with (regardless their ethnicity & background)
* etc.
Is it really a difficult wish to be granted?

Oh well, it’s her nature… I have decided that I won’t go against her; and since life is mostly about good or bad acts, hence, I’ll just continue playing my role as a good and sane step daughter. Not to deceive her or to earn her attention, but to avoid further misfortunes in my life and in the family. God dislikes those who have enemies, so why bother to have one!? Yes… I’m aware how spiteful she can be, however, she’s still my father’s wife.

One thing she definitely wants to bear in mind…
I’m not like my sassy but rebel brothers. I have a bittersweet childhood; thereby I’m a lot stronger than what she can think of. I don’t need her love or her affection, I have my father on my side, there are my mother who’s very supportive and plenty close friends who care enough about me. So yeah… let’s respect the boundary that I have arranged specially for you.