nothing lasts forever

"Nothing lasts forever" is so true.

I always foolishly believed that my friendship with Ima is one of the kind, the one which will survive through thick and skin. 13 years of friendship and now that she's ready to embark new phase of life, marriage life, I realised.. I'm starting to lose a grip on her :(

Marriage.. what is it you have against me!? why does it seem that you're taking away my bestfriends!?? I barely digest the fact how distant I am right now with the others after their marriages, yet, you're trying to snatch what I have with Ima??? Please don't do it, she's my other half, she's the sister that I'm dying to have.

Sometimes.. Islam with its so-called rules is irritating. Well, maybe it's due to my lack of knowledge of a true Moslem. It surprised me that once you're married, everything you do needs an approval from your husband, even when you want to have your 'me-time' at the salon ! Going out without your husband's permission is considered as a huge sin. *heavy sigh*

According to my aunt, that might be the reason of the growing distance between me and my married bestfriends.

"But who are you to complaint, Nis? A bestfriend doesn't demand, she understands. She gives advices, not an order"


One simple statement which enough to bring me back to the ground. 'Nuff said.

dear Father

I love you very much Father. Not because -I wouldn't be born if it weren't for you-or -thanks for your financial support-. I love you because the way you are. I stand right beside you because I yearn for your attention and affection.
I always try my best to make you happy and proud. I even prioritize your feeling on top of others, including my Mother.

Forgive me Father..
It turned out that it requires a heart as hard as stone to continue living in your house.
I had enough!! ENOUGH...

I don't want to be your soccer ball anymore, Father. It's getting really tiring and frustrating at this point for me. You only come to my side whenever you got into fight with Bunda. After things back to normal, you're pushing me away. Don't you realize that Father?

Last night's incident proved my insignificant presence in that house.
I'm your daughter, not one of your sub-ordinates. I'm not your employee, hence don't treat me like the way you treated them. I was at fault for not informing you earlier about my difficulty to print out your file, but did you really need to shout and curse me? I tried to make up this mistake by went to internet cafe to have a pro printed them out for me. It turned out that she's as clueless as me, so I chose a ridiculous way to do that, i.e. by stapling the two pages together horizontally. I got home at 10.30PM with empty stomache and directly handed those papers to you, only to be mocked by you?

No Father..
I don't need your -thank you- greetings. I was rather expecting you to say "Here's my daughter! How's your day? Are you tired?" It was just as simple as that.

Instead, you went on and on with these lines:
"This what you got when you didn't do my order."
"There's no point, your effort is meaningless. How would you expect me to understand these stupid papers?"
"I know you can't be trusted"

Oh my...
Even though you might did it out of fun, still it hurts me.

This is it,
This entry shall mark my turning point,
Nuff' said.

the untold

Once upon a time,
*lives a woman called Fray... it's been a long time since she separated from her husband. however, it seems that she couldn't forgive her ex-husband for having a happy life. she also hates him for taking her children away from her. now, she's full of hatred and anger...
*meanwhile, at another place, there are two brothers who only care about themselves. the oldest one is married with one daughter, he's still a student without a job. his brother is addicted to gambling and women. leading such a pitiful life.. whenever things did not go according to their wishes, all they can do is blaming their father.
*people of -once so glorious- nation.. are suspecting each other. the executives blame their people for being so impatient and demanding. the people also blame their executives for being so greedy.

Why do we have to blame others for our failures, for types of person we've became, and for the hardships that we have to go through in our lifes..

To be happy and success, this decision is up to us. We have ultimate power to determine our destiny whereas other people around us just a compliment.

So, everyone.. let's have some time to ask ourselves and to reflect on our mistakes.. it isn't too late for us to learn to put more respect for others.