sister to brothers

2.2.11

Whenever I'm talking with my older brothers, it feels like that I'm talking to strangers. We always end up arguing, throwing tantrums or feeling disappointed at one another.

It isn't that I don't love or respect them, but everytime I see them or talk to them, all I can think is how they keep on bringing more troubles into the family, even after they have their own family. I just got so fed up with their immature behaviors, their constant demands of their rights, their love-hate relationship with our parents...

Sometimes.. I can't help but to question the sincerity of their love, care and attention toward our parents, especially Papa. Why does the only thing that come out from their mouth is always about money? And why did after they got what they want, they just went away and wouldn't be back until they need more money? Apa Papa ga lebih dari sekedar mesin ATM buat mereka?

Miris banget ngeliat mereka yang kaya gitu, seakan mereka berjalan tanpa arah. Melihat ketergantungan mereka yang tinggi, gw ga sanggup ngebayangin mau jadi apa mereka ketika Papa-Mama ga ada? Harta itu hanya bersifat titipan kak, if you don't know how to struggle in order to earn a petty penny, what would happen to your wives and kids?

We've been spending so much time to be apart, God knows how much I want to make up the times we lost together as siblings. I really wish the five of us can be together again, working next to Papa, being his tandem partners, learning as much as we could from him.

The thought that Papa-Mama are getting older and weaker as time goes by is haunting me. I'm scared.. Do we still have enough time to make them happy? Would they be able to see and take part in our success? Oh dear God, please don't take them away before we are able to make them proud with their kids, Amin Ya Rab. 

So, please stop playing around, because it really is the time to get back to your senses.