the untold

Once upon a time,
*lives a woman called Fray... it's been a long time since she separated from her husband. however, it seems that she couldn't forgive her ex-husband for having a happy life. she also hates him for taking her children away from her. now, she's full of hatred and anger...
*meanwhile, at another place, there are two brothers who only care about themselves. the oldest one is married with one daughter, he's still a student without a job. his brother is addicted to gambling and women. leading such a pitiful life.. whenever things did not go according to their wishes, all they can do is blaming their father.
*people of -once so glorious- nation.. are suspecting each other. the executives blame their people for being so impatient and demanding. the people also blame their executives for being so greedy.

Why do we have to blame others for our failures, for types of person we've became, and for the hardships that we have to go through in our lifes..

To be happy and success, this decision is up to us. We have ultimate power to determine our destiny whereas other people around us just a compliment.

So, everyone.. let's have some time to ask ourselves and to reflect on our mistakes.. it isn't too late for us to learn to put more respect for others.

the answer

This pain.. This loneliness
Maybe they are all my punishments for hurting you...

"Urgently required: Accountant"
That kind of announcements were what I mostly found on the net. Does it really mean that I need to consider accounting as my postgraduate major !? Hell.. there's no way I'm gonna take it !! Though I used to madly in love with accounting during my foundation time, but I've never thought to spend my -so precious- life as an audit... Don't get me wrong key... I did not try to look down that profession.. It's just my way to emphasise how the job has failed to attract me.

Everyone has passions and this obviously varies from one to another. In my case, I like accounting, however, I have no interest to make it as my future source of income. I can't imagine myself only surrounded by figures and numbers. I'd definitely going to die at the age of 30.. OK, that's a bit exaggerating :D

Marketer.. this profession doesn't sound as fancy and luxury as accountant. Yet, without these people, most companies wouldn't able to sell of their products or services to wider markets. Sounds too subjective !?? Hehehe... unlike those accountants, my passion is in marketing, a world which I believe would offer me lots of unpredictable experience. Because when you're dealing with your customers.. things might suddenly become vague and hardly to be predicted. That's the beauty of marketing...

Ah... whenever I think about it, I get impatient... Seriously, I can't wait the opportunity to take my part in that world.

Wish me luck !!!

be careful with PT Maxgain

I got a missed call from (021) 23526700 this morning. At first, I kept on wondering who was trying to get in touch with me. "This might be from one of the companies to whom I sent my CV" that's what I thought.

Then I tried to call the abovementioned number, to find out which company was calling. However, the operator said the number is disconnected. And.. after reading through some articles on the internet, I discovered that the call from PT. Maxgain International (MIF). None other than the company who's famous for their false job vacancies and unethical pratices. I was quite panic, geez.. how did they get my CV !? I never sent any application to them.

Fwwh..
It's a good thing after all. They should've learned their lesson. Today is the era of internet, most people found everything on the net.

Hence for those who need a job. Please.. Be careful and selective when applying a job through internet. Nobody's wants to be deceived by anyone right !?. We might be jobless but we aren't that desperate.

read the article here:
http://ryosaeba.wordpress.com/2007/05/14/maxgain-vs-kraft-foods-indonesia/

shall we !?

and I hate myself for being so indecisive and coward. It's been a while yet I'm still unable to make any decision for my relationship.

The 'what's best for everyone' is obviously not the answer, because that phrase only belong to selfish people. Those who don't wish the rest of the world blame them, those who covered it up with their 'i did my best to make things work' maneuver.

I know I'm selfish (I've noted that earlier). However, for once.. for the sake of this relationship, I want to come up a 'win win solution' !!!

FYI, I'm having a hard time right now (and I'm sure that he's facing the same situation). The fact that I couldn't love him as much as he loves me, it's killing me. My feeling has reached its limit and it slowly started to fade away. I already tried my best to change !!

Ever since I decided to put a 'brake' in our relationship, I've had countless discussions not only with myself but also with my closest friends. Yet, until today... I couldn't even bring a slight hope to save everything we used to have. I'm helpless with my own feeling.

Somehow, I believe that if we are keep on insisting to keep this relationship, both of us would probably suffer a great pain. The length of our break would not guarantee us a brighter end, because all I could offer to you is uncertainty about the future. You do know that very well, don't you !?

So, shall we?

dear mother

Murka-kah engkau padaku Ibu !?
hingga tiada kabar kudengar darimu

Terluka-kah engkau karenaku Ibu !?
hingga tak ingin tahu akan diriku lagi

Sakit-kah hatimu Ibu !?
hingga maafku tak jua cukup mengobati dirimu

Maafkanlah aku Ibu.. Ampunilah aku Ibu..
Mungkin memang nakda yang bersalah,
Mungkin nakda tidaklah lebih dari seorang anak tak berbakti,

Demi Allah, nakda tidak pernah ingin menyakiti Ibu.
Tiadalah sanggup nakda melakukannya.
Karena sakit Ibu adalah sakit nakda..
Karena nakda sangatlah menyayangimu.....

A very simple yet thougtful "poem" I made for my Mom. She's angry at me and our stubborness making it hard for us to reconcile ! but still.. I LOVE YOU mother :)

the premiere

Yay ! I've finally decided to own a blog.. I know this is not supposed to be a big deal BUT please do let me have some joy with my new 'toy'. Now that I started to feel bored with my daily activities (read: I got nothing to do), blogging seems like the most inevitable solution for me. So.. here's my first post.